hello everybody.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (lax2) — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:22:22 GMT

Are you happy abstaining from meth... ? How about if you also quit drinking... I think that might help the quality of your recovery. And yeah drop the using freinds.... Two years cl;ean is great... don't lose it...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Sat, 03 May 2008 11:04:21 GMT

le grumps wrote:
but i'm drinking too much now and then i contact the friends, and make plans to use on the weekends, then of course i cancel. it's very scary.

Heya Sammie,

Welcome. You sound exactly like me. When I got clean, I kind of didn't really want to. I wanted to not have the bad things happen anymore, but I didn't want to stop dulling my emotions.
...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (smilewasmask) — Sat, 03 May 2008 05:40:32 GMT

I would just like to add my WELCOME to you, Sammi.....
Sometimes I can *smell* the shyt also....but it usually washes over me like a huge wave of nasea and makes me feel like I am going to puke.
And when I think of it ...it is kind of strange because I do not have a sense of smell....
I lost my sense of smell 21 years ago....long before I ever touched meth...
But I remember that smell of death oozing out of my pores.....
Maybe it was more like a taste....
...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (LdyOfWzdm) — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:13:49 GMT

Hello...
...I'm the loved one of two meth addicted children (son 27, daughter 25),
your post gives me hope that someday they too can reach the milestone
you have.

What you have accomplished is no small feat...
taking Courage, Endurance, Ingenuity and Life Skills.

Keep On Truckin'...
...and stay clean.

Lady

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (forget suzette) — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:50:46 GMT

wow sammi, I can smell your brains! spicy!
...... I wish I had quit while I was a head. *rimshot*

you're very smart.

....we're in love with a bytch we can't stand, and in the end she gets it all if you stay with her.

nice to meet you.

suzie

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (Loraura) — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:25:07 GMT

You don't have to tell them anything, ya know. You can just decide what you're going to do, and do it!

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (nineyearsclean) — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:19:31 GMT

Bless your heart. You're a smart lady. I'm glad you found us.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:18:46 GMT

i'm gonna do that. thank you all.

i guess i will tell my friends that i am going to be working on recovery, and that is that.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (nineyearsclean) — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:02:45 GMT

Ummmmm, no guessing about it honey, that's exactly what you need to do.

You are a relapse waiting to happen, and you'd better take swift and aggressive action now. Maybe you didn't need outside help when you got clean two years ago, but I think now is a good time to begin learning the tools of recovery that help us cope without using. I learned such tools in the rooms of N.A. Those tools have saved my azz on many, many occasions over the last almost 12 years I've...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (le grumps) — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:02:42 GMT

Ditching using friends is a GREAT start. Delete their numbers so you don't call them on a weak moment.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (le grumps) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:59:36 GMT

but i'm drinking too much now and then i contact the friends, and make plans to use on the weekends, then of course i cancel. it's very scary.

Heya Sammie,

Welcome. You sound exactly like me. When I got clean, I kind of didn't really want to. I wanted to not have the bad things happen anymore, but I didn't want to stop dulling my emotions.

So I quit with rehab, and moved out of the city I lived in. I really enjoy being clean, but...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:55:42 GMT

i think i'm having a problem with alcohol.

i tried to stop for 8 weeks, made it for a couple of weeks, then got drunk 3 times this week.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:53:49 GMT

ya, i appreciate it so much. thanks.

just talking about it has made me realize that i am strong enough to make it through.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (Loraura) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:50:38 GMT

Gosh, you have a lot on your plate. It's not surprising that old thoughts of using came up. Pain, worry, nervousness... it doesn't take much for us to feel uncomfortable and want to make it stop. The alcohol isn't working either, so brain is kicking it up a notch and saying "ok, wrong drug, try something else!".

KCI is a great place to talk to others who DO understand about the cravings when life start throwing stuff at you.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:45:53 GMT

ya i want to stay clean.

i guess i'm gonna have to totally ditch the friends that use.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:44:09 GMT

i am going through a divorce and have stopped antidepressants (welbutrin) and i've gained back the 10 pounds that i lost on that. i have yard work and the house seems out of control.

my mom can be very negative, but i need her right now to help me with some things.

seems that sometimes i'm all alone, and more so when i'm with people.

i have a great boyfriend who has never even smoked weed. and of course he doesn't understand when i tell him...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (Penel0pe) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:38:34 GMT

WTG Brendar!!

Sammi - sounds like staying clean is the better choice.

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:22:58 GMT

i hope i'm not planning a relapse, but i feel like that may be true.

my favorite things about being clean: (and thank you for redirecting my focus for me )

i have a spiritual center and i am happy.

i am strong, intelligent and i make great decisions.

i am respected and admired for my talents again and don't feel like a loser.

i feel good and i'm healthy.
...

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (Brendar) — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:08:42 GMT

So Sammie
Hello!
Welcome!
In addition to the reasons for quitting...
What are some of your favorite things about being clean?

Re: hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (Loraura) — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:58:32 GMT

Wow, Sammie. That does sound like tempting fate.

Good for you for deciding not to destroy yourself anymore. Maybe a good honest look at what helped you reach that decision 2 years ago will help you make the right choices now to protect that decision.

Wouldn't it be great to just party and do whatever, and have no consequences? I know we all wish we could do that. But you already know that it comes with consequences. You already found out that it's not the way to...

hello everybody.

feeds@yuku.com (sammi10) — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:34:02 GMT

two years clean. having cravings and seemed to have attracted a couple of new meth friends that are triggering me. thought i'd come check it out here and see what's happening.

if i can just make it through the summer, i think i'll be ok.

two years and it still creeps up on me. i can still taste it. crazy.